After a super longgggg hiatus, I'm finally back to this almost-dead blog.
& I can't believe that 2014 is coming to an end.
So much had happened in the first half of 2014.
Well, at least it made me learnt to cherish everyone around me that truly cares even more.
Now I finally understood what they always meant by 'Learn to cherish before it's gone'.
March 2014
We went down to HDB on the 30th March for our 2nd HDB appointment to pay the first 5% downpayment for our little punggol BTO flat. & yes, our HLE got approved. So so damn happy ya. Till we meet in end 2016/early 2017.
May 2014
Was out to Chinatown with Bf, and mum for dim sum breakfast. Was happily chatting, eating and when finace and I took a bus back to bedok.. Suddenly I received a call from my dad. Knew something was not right, as he won't call me early in the morning since he has work and it is RARE that he calls me at such timing.
So... I picked up the phone and the news was very saddening.... '阿公死了' .
Sighs. Mood immediately went down. And, it didn't helped that finace is going off for work the next day. Double sad :( :( :(
Rushed down to Toa Payoh, where the wake was held. Stayed there throughout the whole wake.
Slept beside the coffin on the last night. Yes, I dared to, and didn't fear of anything prob because he and my grandma is the one who took care of me was I was a baby till about 12 years old. He makes a great chef, always cooking delicious food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I always had hearty breakfast when I wake up on days when I have no school. Sometimes he would packet fishball noodle, sometimes he pan-fried png kueh(which I MISS so much! :( Didn't get to eat for the longest time ever... Those selling outside ones were not even comparable to his), sometimes fried nian gao, etc etc... Those very yummy food that only oldies know.
Anyway, I hope he is in a better place looking after us(although the family is very messy).
On a brighter side, at least he passed away peacefully in his sleep. According to my grandma, they woke up to see him passed away in his sleep, and his face was very beautiful with his eyes fully close, and mouth fully close. He is 89 years old this year, and was bedridden for almost 2/3years, and tube feeding for 2years++... Luckily, he is not in any agony prior to his death. ^^
Some info for my keepsake.
He passed away on the 25th May 2014. Ashes at GMS N1 No. 89
His birthday: Chinese 四月二七日 every year
His big house number : 8927
I did teared a lot. Especially when I am bathing / about to go to bed. The first day of the wake, I feel very terrible... I teared at the wake, just by looking at his photo/coffin. I teared when I'm bathing. I teared when I'm sleeping and when I wake up from my sleep.
I couldn't take it, I feel regretful of not going down to visit him and grandma more often last time.(what to do, I have a very veryyy broken family) He dotes and cares for me a lot. I feel I have a lot to return back to him, but there's no way I can do so anymore in real life. I still feels a little regret in life over this till date. :(
He is the best grandparent that I have. None other can be comparable to him.
So far I dreamt of him twice. 1 was during the first week of his death(there were my grandma, him and myself, and a maid... We went out together by taking the MRT. He stayed in my dreams for like 5 -10mins?), and the other one was somewhere in end september(it was at the toa payoh house, most of the family members were there. I remembered in the dreams he was happily telling us his house, and telling me he has got a lot of pimples then put his face towards me and showed me. Then he was happily eating chicken drumstick. He stayed in my dreams for like 15-30mins?). Both are happy dreams, prob he misses me and just came back to visit me? Yes, I miss you ah gong! I pray for you always that you will be happier up there, and blessed us with happiness, pink health. :D
Hope I will be there for all his praying session at GMS. So far for all his 头七，三七，五七，七七， 一百天 , I was there. :) And, the night before his 头七, all the family members gathered at toa payoh because the adults said it's 'his last day' before he goes up...So, it's better to go there so he gets to see everyone the last time or some sort like that. The adults were playing MJ overnight, younger bro and me was sleeping next to my grandma. I guess he must be feeling very happy that his most dote grandson(my elder bro,myself, and my younger bro) was there for all. All his son/son-in-law was also there for first 4 session too. That means a lot to him cause he seldom sees all his sons gather together. :) So yeah, I hope next year will be like this too.
I will always remember the things he have done for me since young.
- Fetch me to and from school by WALKING long distance, up and down the slope to reach my school. He would carry my school bag for me. <3 Is either him or my grandma would walk me to/from school when I was in lower primary.
- Cooks the most simple yet delicious food every time. Kinda miss his cooking for the longest time ever, but there's no way to eat his cooking anymore. Especially his cabbage rice, ba zhang(yeah, he wrap his own ba zhang every single year last time without fail). Everyone in the family compliment his cooking. Even my fiance said his cooking is yummy too!(Lucky he gets to eat my grandpa cooking!)
- Always ensure that I have sufficient money to eat in school last time. &passing me 80/100bucks for CNY (FYI, only my elder bro and myself got it) The rest don't even have. :D This shows he dotes on us the most right.
You will always be remembered by me. I will always remember to visit you every year!
My #1 and only ah gong in my whole life! <3
Sometimes when I think of you/telling my fiance about you appearing in my dreams, I still do tear a little.
June 2014
Mum's side grandma passed away. yeah, that makes the 2nd funeral for 2014.
As usual, attended the wake for 5 days....
Wasn't close at all to mum's side one.
But prior to her death, she was in agony and wasn't eating/drinking much.
No much feeling for this one thou. No dreams, no crying, no memories.You're still my po po. You're definitely in a better place! :D
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